WHAT THE FLYERS DID IN 2011.
Life went on, just without victory chips...

ALSAA, Summer 2011 - Reports that softball was still going on proved to be correct when it was discovered that BatPak and Dublin Bay Packers had upped sticks from Raheny and Irishtown and moved to the country. But none of the Flyers went back to the field of nightmares. You won't read about them on their new teams' websites so here's what I know...

Mercenaries

Ebbsie, after considering the offers that flooded into his phone, went to Marlay. Red flattered him most was his reasoning. The players listened to him and success followed.

Cora and Lee went to the Usual Suspects and stayed in a Flyers-like mid-table position. Cora went on to play for Ireland in the World Series in London in September.

Fan went to the Sluggers and played Premier. She dragged Allison out when they were short girl players. They beat Dodder Dynamoes and BatPak in successive league games, something they never achieved in their Flyers careers.

Paul McGrath and Elaine D went to Castleknock and battled for Division 1 supremacy.

Ben played for the Renegades. I think Bronagh did too.

Adrian and Betty didn't miss softball at all. Adrain played a bit at the Castleknock blitz. Betty played with Ebbsie on Michelle's Marlay team at the Suspects Blitz and played one league game for the Suspects at the end of the season.

Tony did his triathlons and tag rugby until a car knocked him off his bike, breaking his knee cap, chipping bones in his hands and getting 28 stitches all over the place. The car ended up on it's roof so he must have given it some whack. He may never play softball again. He couldn't go to Erding or help around the house so Mary got a cleaner. Mary did tag rugby too, and badminton, and cleaned the house before and after the cleaner came. And the 2 of them planned their wedding.

No-one heard from Sichul or any of the other Flyers we'll never forget.

Dublin Airport, April 8, 2011 - As the always entertaining pre-season press conference approaches rumour has it the Flyers will join their ground-sharing buddies Sporting Fingal FC in the history books.

Too old, fat

Coach Mr Ebbs remained tight-lipped this week until someone produced a pie. He would not confirm or deny he was the anonymous poster 'Mr Ebbs' who broke the news on whistle-blowing website softballtalk.net last Monday.

We're all doomed.

Boston-based softball analyst Ian Clarke claims he predicted the collapse years ago but no-one would listen, especially the guy who was running the show at the time. He thinks his name was Bertie or Betty or something.

Screw you guys

One so-called current Flyer has put forward his own suggestions as to what could have gone wrong. The student of Dun Laoghaire College, and fan of Ireland's second and third hottest co-ed sports (Tag Rugby and Triathlons), is believed to be bitter than he only joined the Flyers the year after the last trip to New York for the annual JFK Airline tournament in Long Island. He reckons the answer lies around these:
- Has softball failed to move with the times?
- Have the drink-driving laws ruined the social side of the game?
- Are people wanting more physical benefit from their leisure activities in these health-conscious days?
- Is the game too slow-moving?
- Is the game too complex for the average numpty to learn?
- Are the skills too challenging for the non-sporty?
- Are fortysomething wannabes putting youngsters off joining the sport?
- Is softball a closed shop where if you weren’t in the gang 15 years ago then you’re only a blow in and you’ll never be cool?
- Do gobsh*tes feigning American attitudes, apparel and accents put people off?

Build a bridge.

When the Flyers decide what to do next, and whether they can throw a final Flyers Blitz in May anyway, they will call the press in and spill the beans. Meanwhile everyone has their price.