With Softball Season '05 fast approaching, the Flyers joined up with some Usual Suspects and a few other usual suspects to try out softball German style. And with no walks, and a swamp in the outfield where a foot of snow had finally melted, we went out and got dirty. Backnang Bats were our hosts, Hoschi came from Austria to guest for us, the catcher from Schwalbengarage Softball won the in the cap-swop, and coach from Braunschweig Scouts broke a finger...

So now the Cup is in the cabinet, the muscles are healing, and the mud has finally come out of your softball gear after 10 goes in the washing machine. But what really happened in Backnang? Simply answer the following multiple-choice questions and find out if you really were at the Oster Fun Cup in Backnang '05.

Backnang Softball Sobriety Quiz

  1. It's 2:05 p.m. on Good Friday. Where are Team Irland?
    1. Getting in some last minute training at ALSAA
    2. Dropping off the kids at the minders, sure what's the hurry?
    3. Making a mad dash for the airport bar – the only open bar in the country

  2. How do you spell "Backnang"?
    1. B-A-C-K-N-A-N-G
    2. B-E-E-R
    3. B-A-C-H-N-A-N-G

  3. What is the proper name of "Ireland's Call"?
    1. Ireland's Call
    2. That rugby song
    3. The Shoulder Song

  4. What was the main sport to feature over the weekend?
    1. Softball, of course
    2. Ordering beers
    3. Killer Pool and Speed Pool

  5. What was the Irish chant at the tournament?
    1. 1-2-3 IRELAND!
    3. 1-2-3 HASSELHOFF!

  6. It's 2.00am Friday night/Saturday morning, and there is a problem. What is it?
    1. The bar is closing
    2. The forecast is for rain
    3. The drivers like Vicki Fuchs who collected us at the airport 8 hours earlier, drove us to the hotel and waited for us to get changed, then drove us to the pub and have sat drinking water waiting to give us a lift 3km back to the hotel, are getting tired.

  7. Who can't figure out the roaming function on their mobile phone?
    1. Betty
    2. Betty
    3. Betty

  8. What traditional Irish adornment was missing from the Síbín Irish pub?
    1. A Shillelagh
    2. A Guinness tap
    3. A large screen TV to watch the Israel match

  9. How long does it take to get served in the Taflecafe?
    1. With superior service, leaving a discrete but respectable time between starters and main course, the ambience of the restaurant was delightful and the food served was cooked to perfection
    2. The kebab place only took 2 minutes
    3. That guy in the Christmas jumper is still waiting to be served

  10. Tony slept it out and nearly missed his train to Frankfurt at
    1. 6.30 am
    2. 10.00am
    3. 3.00pm

  11. What Irish male didn't clear the home run fence?
    1. Martha's boyfriend Ciaran, who never played before and was switch-hitting
    2. Betty, who is a weak-hitter and an old git
    3. Gary, the Irish international player

  12. Hoschi's secret alter ego is:
    1. Master Yodeller
    2. One of the kids from 'The Sound of Music'
    3. M.C. Gangsta Hoschi Rapper

  13. What does "Stoesschen" mean?
    1. "Cheers"
    2. "Push"
    3. "Do ya fancy a quickie?"

  14. What is the correct way to get onto first base safely?
    1. Hit the ball with pace, dropping it safely between the infield and the outfield and a smart run to first
    2. Hit the ball and run like hell, hoping for the best
    3. Hit the ball and pirouette Wayne Sleep-like down the first base line

  15. What member of the Team Irland squad scored without ever taking the field?
    1. The Easter Bunny
    2. David Hasselhoff
    3. Gernot, aka Dermot

  16. It's raining and the final has entered a bit of a lull. What kind of music should the DJ put on?
    1. German Oom-pah-pah band
    2. R-O-C-K
    3. Elevator moozak

  17. Who won the darts competition on the last night?
    1. Ciaran
    2. Til, from the Scouts
    3. Lisa, from the Scouts, who jumped whenever she threw a dart.

  18. Of all the times we have met Anja, what is her hairstyle like?
    1. Always the same
    2. Slightly longer each time
    3. Prague - Blonde/Red/Black extensions, Austria - Black extensions, Ireland - a smart bob, Germany - blonde extensions

  19. How many telephone numbers did Babs collect over the weekend?
    1. None – she was concentrating on her game
    2. None – she has no good German chat-up lines
    3. One from each runner who passed 2 base, and one from each base player as she ran around the bases

  20. How do you qualify for cheap beer in the pubs in Backnang?
    1. Beer!? During a tournament?!
    2. Declare your Irish heritage
    3. Nick someone else's beer mat who hasn't had as much to drink as you

    Mostly A – Which tournament were you at?
    Mostly B – You probably were there, but don't remember much after your first crate of beer
    Mostly C – If you know that much you probably know all about who slept with who on Sunday night!